An Observation: Making Friends as an Expat
Ok, so we all know it…I’m a bad blogger…I may very well be the worst blogger ever. I’ve kept a blog for the better part of three years, but have never posted anything in a timely manner. But I’m determined to change all that now. I’ve got plenty of stories from the last three weeks that I’m excited about sharing, so I’ll start with 3 Saturday’s ago.
Three weeks ago was really only my second weekend in Shanghai…I was short on friends, inexperienced in how to get around the city, and still trying to get plugged into a social network. But I’ve found that in some ways it is easier to make friends being in a new guy in a city like Shanghai than it would be if I had left North Mississippi to start a career in somewhere like Chicago, Kansas City, or any other American metropolis (except for maybe DC where so many high school and college friends have migrated after school). Of course, I realize that sounds completely contradictory to what most would think…I’m living in a non-English speaking country, I have no real previously established connections/friends here, and this city is home to upwards of 20 million urban people, who, as most urbanites do, tend to walk the streets wrapped up in their own goals and business, a definite sharp contrast to what we’re used to in Mississippi. That certainly does not sound like a formula for making friends quickly.
But what I have found in the past few weeks is that living in a non-European/American majority international city provides a unique chance to make new friends…friendships that would not likely occur in most North American or European cities. Here, half-way around the world from home, traditional western social constructs are nearly totally broken down. Couple this with the expat-shared-attitude of, “I’m living in the heart of the fastest growing economy in the world, I’m meeting friends from everywhere, and I’m only going to be here a limited time so I better take advantage of all of this now…plus if I meet this new person, I’ll have one more person to talk to, hmmm…” and you find a very unique place in today’s world.
The best way to explain this is by presenting concrete examples…stories of the people I meet, the friends I make, where they are from, and what they believe about the world. And probably a lot about what they do for fun. To go along with my theme, most of these stories will be set in Shanghai Saturdays.