Occasionally I like to write things that outright torture my mother.
It's not torture like Jack Bauer working on the wherewithal of some shifty looking nuke-hoarding Arab with a heated coathanger... making happy little trees on the canvas of his fundamentalist face a la Bob Ross on a bender.... talk goddamn you.....but it's a form of torture nonetheless.
Cause even Jack knows, psychological torture is the best.
Jack Bauer - Capabale of killing six Asian soldier with a paperclip, and calls his mother more often than I call mine.
I might never get married. Ever. Which is bad enough for the one who spawned me, but even worse is that this means I might not ever have kids for her dote (and more importantly) worry over. No brood of my own means no golden age occupation for my mother, which means my poor dog will continue to be dressed up in outfits corresponding with national holidays. If he had the cognitive learning skills to piece this together, he'd likely bite my balls off.
It's not that I wouldn't want to get married, it's just that other people's marriages look too impressive for me to ever attempt the idea of a holy union. Seriously, some people have created a loving bond between two individuals acting as one that it downright frightens me I'll be without the capability to do so.
As I sit squarely in my mid-20s, I find myself being drug to wedding after wedding as the inevitable pairing off and thinning of the herd occurs.
In turn I've been to the web site theknot.com, where couples to-be post a bunch of hokey shit that makes me want a go a big rubbery one, just so that they can also list what kind of china they want.
However, I'd like to attend this wedding... At this point I'll stop, and let love speak for itself:
JENNIE WADE & LENNIS HAYES
MARCH 22, 2008
396 days to go!
ABOUT JENNIE
I've lived in Cove for all of my life. I graduated in 2003. I'm currently working at a resturant as a waitress. In March or so I'm going to go to the local barber school so that I can help Lennis run the shop. I'm a pretty down to earth girl, but then again I'm kinda a brat. Lennis spoiles me soooo much.
ABOUT LENNIS
Lennis was born in Atlanta, Georgia and moved to Texas when he was about 3 or 4. He's lived in Killeen since. He graduated from Shoemaker High School in 2003. Then he went to Barber School at OJ's Barber School offered through CTC. He graduated and then got his license in 2004. He works at his family owned barber shop in Copperas Cove. He plays in a local rock band called Deviltry. No it doesn't have anything to do with the devil. Deviltry: n- an act of reckless behavior. Just thought I would put that out there so there wasn't any confusion.
HOW WE MET
We met last October when I went to one of his band practices. I went with a friend at the time to her boyfriend's band practice. I met his bassist and then met him. At first I thought that he was kinda cute, but we didn't date. We lost contact and then he found me on myspace. He actually searched for me. He had remembered that I had graduated from Cove and finally found me. Lennis left a message that said " Hey hot mama, call me!!" I replied and our first date was at Boston's and then we went and saw Scary Movie 4. We've been dating since. It's been glorious. We now live together and it's been tough getting used to how we each operate, but I wouldn't change it for the world.
WHEN WE GOT ENGAGED
November 16, 2006
HOW IT HAPPENED
He came home from work and took me into our computer room. I had been bugging him about getting me an engagement ring (just joking of course). He had told me earlier on the phone that I was going to love Christmas. So he closes the door behind me and the tells me to close my eyes and stick out my hands. So I do it, and when he tells me to open them I have a box in my hand. I open and there is my engagement ring. He then asks me to marry him and I just jump on him and tell him yes.
Someone, anyone find me a Deviltry t-shirt.