Surprise!

Somebody reheated the sports page leftovers from your junior year at Ole Miss and tried to pass it off as gourmet! Suckers.

For those of you Mississippi-based readers (my home for the last decade), I need no introduction. For you future fiscal succubae in Charlottesville, I’m a has/been never/was humorist who actually grew up in the fleshy armpit of the Commonwealth (Manassas, baby) before I came to my senses in Dixie.

So, as I currently climb the professional ladder, welcome one and all to the last rung of Oxford-based fame, and the first rung of any possible future of feeding myself by making sex jokes about college football and the women of the FOOD Network.

Some of you are asking – Godfrey, why blog here at SNN? Well, for one, I hate the Internet and all of its anti-Christian black magic applications. I tried to blog on my own for about a week, but upon discovering a lack of basic HTML knowledge and with no photo server set up, I quickly curled into a ball and started crying. It seemed without an insider's guide to the blogosphere - or giving Alex Blagg a hummer - I'd be on the outside looking in for good. Surely there had to be life outside of a burgeoning journalism career and hours of Facebook stalking.

Enter Drew Snyder, he of the extra-curricular-hobbies-taken-a-bit-past-the-edge. Our connection? Other than our annual meetings in Wyoming to “fish,” he was ASB President at Ole Miss while I was doing my best Roger Clinton impersonation. We found mutual respect for each other during televised pre-election debates on Newswatch 12 when I showed up as a panelist 1) drunk and 2) wearing pajama bottoms, a tie and a sport coat. We debated the merits of the WWE both now and in yesteryear, and its been a marriage of love ever since.

The other, slightly less obvious benefit, is that by signing on with SNN I’m assured exposure to the maximum amount of Jackson Academy alumni, who match up with me about as well as they did during freshman rush.

Biff: Oh dear, it seems that Daily Mississippian boy from college is blogging with Snyder.

Buffy: I don’t see why Drew keeps such sordid company. Isn’t that Godfrey from Jackson?

Biff: Well, kind of… He’s from Rankin County, you know…

Buffy: Oh, posh. Another Nuevo riche JP floozy from Castlewoods?

Biff: No, apparently there’s another school even further down the highway than Prep. A public one at that.

Buffy: No!

Biff: Seriously. Now pass the mescaline and slide into something Patagonia, We’ve got reservations at Julep.

Buffy: Oh, Highland Village is SO 1999…

Nothing like making friends on the first day. So in order to take over the world in the laziest possible fashion, I’ll need the maximum amount of readers 18-24 to fawn over my petty brilliance online, so please keep logging in from here on out. The crux of this will be sports (which yes, means Ole Miss) with some political/entertainment commentary, and the requisite pessimistic hipster snarkiness that keeps the blog world so damn irreverent!

Stay tuned. I've got a host of Klan-ish resentment for Rod Barnes' invisible firing and a NCAA sanction countdown ticker for Ed Orgeron. And some other funny shit I haven't thought of. Promise.