tag:www.snydernews.net,2008://1 2008-07-03T02:52:49Z Movable Type 3.33 tag:www.snydernews.net,2008://1.384 2008-07-03T02:44:41Z 2008-07-03T02:52:49Z

With his friends "tugging" on him to write, Drew Snyder has an "itch" to come out of retirement and report to the network later this month, according to sources close to the writer. Snyder has communicated his potential desire to...

Snyder News Network With his friends "tugging" on him to write, Drew Snyder has an "itch" to come out of retirement and report to the network later this month, according to sources close to the writer. Snyder has communicated his potential desire to friend Andrew McCarthy but talks have not advanced to a substantive stage, the source said. Snyder was reached on Wednesday by Mississippi's The Clinton Administration and tried to calm the storm. "It's all rumor," he said of reports that he wants to return. tag:www.snydernews.net,2008://1.383 2008-06-10T03:07:58Z 2008-06-10T03:17:48Z

The Chicago Bears Network will not be including Cedric Benson in its fall lineup, the The USA Today reports. Instead, the struggling franchise will be prepared to give a new show, Forte, a 16-episode run. Benson was expected to be...

Snyder News Network The Chicago Bears Network will not be including Cedric Benson in its fall lineup, the The USA Today reports. Instead, the struggling franchise will be prepared to give a new show, Forte, a 16-episode run. Benson was expected to be a hard-hitting drama with more consistency than the fellow Mack Brown production, Ricky. But Benson got off to a slow start, and it has been recently been plagued by off-the-set shenanigans that have caused its abrupt cancellation. ]]> tag:www.snydernews.net,2008://1.382 2008-06-08T20:51:48Z 2008-06-08T21:17:24Z

Big Bust. Big Choke. Big Flop. Brownout. Bobby Brown. Big Brown was expected to make history on Saturday, and he did: he's the first Derby and Preakness winner to finish last in the Belmont Stakes. Not since the European...

Snyder News Network Big Bust. Big Choke. Big Flop. Brownout. Bobby Brown. Big Brown was expected to make history on Saturday, and he did: he's the first Derby and Preakness winner to finish last in the Belmont Stakes. Not since the European dynamo, Arazi, finished 8th in the 1992 Kentucky Derby has a horse with so much hype performed so poorly. Now, the sisyphean pursuit of the Triple Crown continues. We will return next year for more disappointment.]]> tag:www.snydernews.net,2007://1.381 2007-10-19T17:47:38Z 2007-10-19T17:49:22Z

Who is Iraqi Diver and why did he hack my website?...

Snyder News Network Who is Iraqi Diver and why did he hack my website? tag:www.snydernews.net,2007://1.380 2007-05-29T19:58:24Z 2007-05-30T22:01:52Z

The Snyder News Network, an offbeat website of sports, humor, and politics with a focus on Mississippi, died Tuesday. It was 7. The cause of death was impending time constraints, said Drew Snyder, its main writer. The site had been...

Snyder News Network The Snyder News Network, an offbeat website of sports, humor, and politics with a focus on Mississippi, died Tuesday. It was 7. The cause of death was impending time constraints, said Drew Snyder, its main writer. The site had been afflicted with creative malaise for the past couple of years. Born in the summer of 1999, SNN was created with no clear purpose other than to allow its namesake an outlet to write. The website reached its peak of popularity in the Fall of 2000 during Ole Miss Homecoming elections and achieved a renaissance in the Spring of 2005 as it was recognized by liberal alternative weekly Jackson Free Press as “The Third Best Website in Jackson.” SNN closed just a few months after the Summer of 1999 as its publisher began his first year of college at The University of Mississippi. But in the spring of 2000, SNN would return, spurred on by Snyder’s quasi-interest in journalism and web design. And it was here where SNN would begin its rise to small-time notoriety. After several weeks of work to design the site, SNN was released to the general public. The logo was a blatant rip-off of CNN's logo, though the content was more reminiscent of The Onion than America’s first 24 Hour News Station. SNN’s first headline story, “The Hit and Run Quarterback,” recounted the story of a college student who, while jogging, claimed to have been struck by a sports utility vehicle driven by Ole Miss starting quarterback Romaro Miller. Other stories included a local fraternity adopting John Deere as a corporate sponsor and columns from a curmudgeonly freshman named POS. The POS Discussion Board (later named Monty's Message Board and The Rebel Yell), a message board from Boardhost, allowed anyone to leave comments about articles and anything else. The timing was excellent. In an American society where 56K modems were still the most prevalent way to connect to the internet, college students were being introduced to T1 internet connections in their dormitories. They had fast computers, time on their hands, and a constant appetite for entertainment. “In the pre-Friendster, pre-Facebook era, this was social networking on the internet in its crudest form,” Snyder said. In the next few months, SNN would grow in popularity, reaching a peak in readership in the Fall of 2000 when approximately 1,000 readers a day were visiting the site to get the latest news on the hotly-contested Colonel Reb election and to choose among four male and four female college students from Ole Miss for SNN Man and Woman of the Week. “They weren't tossing Pulitzers at me, but it was fun,” Snyder said. “This was before Google, at a time when it was novel and neat to be on the Internet, and at an age where people weren’t fearful that a crusty potential employer wouldn’t hire them if their picture was posted on the internet.” SNN earned a “corporate sponsorship” of Sigma Nu Charity Bowl 2001 when several new initiates who didn’t sell the required $350 in ads chipped in to allow SNN to get corporate billing. But following a summer in which SNN was dormant for nearly two months because of unreliable web hosting, the quality of the site and interest in the site continued to wan. By Spring 2002, SNN was dormant. Then in the Spring 2004, Snyder decided to give SNN another go. Traveling to Europe the following week, Mr. Snyder restarted the site to update friends and families on his travels. A relatively new technology called Blogger enabled him to add new posts without time-consuming FTP. Greatly enjoying the new site as both a creative writing outlet and a way to stay connected to friends over great distances, he decided to continue it as he began law school in Charlottesville, Va. This second generation SNN was a drastically different site. Mr. Snyder eliminated anonymous comments, scaled back the number of satirical articles, and rolled out a new, sleeker design. When reflecting on the site, Snyder said the joys and successes of SNN can be attributed to the site’s readers, an assortment of ribald characters of varying writing ability who provided witty feedback and continued to visit the site even as SNN became plagued by sporadic posting and writer's block. “Without all the great posters and readers, SNN wouldn’t have made it two weeks,” he said. “They were, for lack of a better word, the manna that fueled this very long run.” All runs, however, have an endpoint, and earlier this year, Snyder announced that SNN’s finish line would be in late May. With SNN now ending, Snyder remains unsure of its lasting legacy -- or his own. "Alexander the Great conquered the known world. Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin. 'Das Wunderkind' Alex Wright won the WCW Television Title. And me? I ran a relatively obscure website with maybe a few hundred readers that once got plagiarized by the sports editor of The Madison County Journal." The Snyder News Network is survived by websites of several of its loyal readers, including The Clinton Administration, LittleBlog, WillBardwell.com, The Godfrey Show, VH1’s Best Week Ever Blog, The Just Dacket, and others.]]> tag:www.snydernews.net,2007://1.378 2007-05-28T23:28:29Z 2007-05-28T23:32:27Z

By ALLEN THIGPEN I was going to say something clever with this farewell. Something about how Keyshawn Johnson's recent departure from the NFL paled in comparison to the online retirement of one Drew Snyder. However, I decided against it. Silly...

Snyder News Network By ALLEN THIGPEN I was going to say something clever with this farewell. Something about how Keyshawn Johnson's recent departure from the NFL paled in comparison to the online retirement of one Drew Snyder. However, I decided against it. Silly comparisons to the object of Alan Bean's fantasy football desire would hardly capture the gravity of this moment. I guess I just want to say I'll really miss this place. I'll miss the laughs, I'll miss the links and I'll certainly miss Drew's free-wheeling use of photoshop. Where else can I find a photoshopped image of Cousin Quinn Snyder living the homeless life, or Brian Sorgenfrei "bleeding Raider blue"? I've been fortunate enough to know Drew some 14 years, beginning with our days on JA's 1993 purple team (8-0, 5th and 6th grade basketball champs). He taught me how to work a football stat sheet on the way to the 1998 preseason jamboree. He uncovered the infamous 2004 XSB fantasy football conspiracy, shaking up the league's front office and saving the championship season of my franchise, Team Dubose. He even gave me the keys to the SNN car on several occasions, an opportunity I'll never forget. Drew is the real article, and his site is a reflection of not only his unique humor and wit, but of the multitude of readers who consider him a friend and respect his genuine approach to life. It's not just the links and laughs that bring people to these parts. The day Ken Burns makes his nine-volume documentary on the growth of the deep south blogosphere, Drew's face will be the one set to wistful violins and slow zoom-outs. Snyder News Network, I bid thee farewell. ]]> tag:www.snydernews.net,2007://1.223 2007-05-25T08:41:13Z 2007-05-25T22:03:14Z

IRVING, Texas - Less than a week after selecting Wade Phillips to lead America's Team, Dallas Cowboys Owner and General Manager Jerry Jones is looking for a washed-up politician to lead America's People. Jones has already announced he will be...

Snyder News Network IRVING, Texas - Less than a week after selecting Wade Phillips to lead America's Team, Dallas Cowboys Owner and General Manager Jerry Jones is looking for a washed-up politician to lead America's People. Jones has already announced he will be voting for Barack Obama for Vice-President. But insiders tell ESPN.com's John Clayton that Jones fears that Obama, one-term senator from Illinois does not have enough experience for the White House. "He wants to vote for a veteran presidential candidate and Obama can step in soon," the source said, similar to his plan for new Cowboys offensive coordinator Jason Garrett. Jones says he's considering former House Majority Leader Richard Gephardt, a candidate in 1988 and 2004; former 1984 Democratic presidential nominee Walter "Fritz" Mondale, and Tennessee Senator Lamar Alexander, who spent two unsuccessful seasons in the GOP Primary (1996 and 2000). tag:www.snydernews.net,2007://1.375 2007-05-24T21:12:29Z 2007-05-24T21:29:00Z

I have no idea why I'm friends with Drew Snyder. Nor can I tell you how it started. Somewhere smack in the middle of my run in Oxford, Snyder and I became aware of one another in the bizarre way...

Snyder News Network I have no idea why I'm friends with Drew Snyder. Nor can I tell you how it started. Somewhere smack in the middle of my run in Oxford, Snyder and I became aware of one another in the bizarre way that the Ole Miss social scene works, as if we were suddenly neighbors in some local celebrity cul-de-sac. He was the guy who mowed his lawn and oversaw the homeowner's association, I was the less than reputable guy with three Mexicans working on a Chevelle in my driveway. I never cut my lawn, kept the porch light on at strange hours of the night and caused your wife to complain about lowering property values. Somehow, and I think it was through some girl, Snyder and I met up and gained a mutual respect for one another. Writing. Ole Miss. Politics. And ultimately, pro wrestling (had I known how foreboding that would be I wouldn't have quit drinking). In some ways since that fateful meeting I've become the black sheep that all political families hold their breath about. God love Drew, because on the rare occasion we're both in Jackson, he'll have me meet a cadre of Jackson Academy alumni, future legislators, girls who'll one day own boutiques, multiple marriages and non-biodegradable faces and other socialites who politely intone that I might have the Black Death because my parents live in Rankin County and I dropped my Southern accent years ago. They can only wonder why Drew hangs out with the likes of me. Yessir: Roger Clinton… Billy Carter… when (not if) Snyder runs for elected office, I'll be there to screw it all up – leave powdery residue on the bathroom sink of a hotel under his name, bang some stocky thick-legged campaign aide, all that jazz. As far as SNN, I can't say much. Honestly, I don't remember much – a lot of really self-important *$$****$ fighting with a lot of other self-important *$$****$ on some message board. I'd say you could break it down into two categories: the easily offended traditional Southern frat guy, who rather than enjoy having the piss taken out of him once in a while instead nursed a case of xenophobia so pronounced that anything (or anyone) who didn't bow down or spread their legs to the contrived glory of a set of croakies and some deck shoes was a raging communist f****t. Then you had the other guys, a bunch of reformed grade school geeks who had the unfortunate luck of attempting the self-explorative college years in a town that makes Augusta National look like a barrio, so you start listening to crappy complaint rock, shuffling around the square in blazers and witty t-shirts and fall into that mush of reading Larry Brown and drinking brown liquor to look "distraught." Huh. Wonder which one I was. Point is, we all figured out that most of the shit that occurred in college was pointless far too late. I don't regret being academically dismissed from Ole Miss (twice), nor do I regret a riotous bout of alcoholism. I regret not trying to sleep with more women, because at the time I thought the Oxford social structure was anything more than disposable. Given my druthers I'd hop back in time and accost everything that moved, because you never fully realize how quickly the pool will dry up in adulthood. I also admire Drew for his moral fiber. At an age when most Americans commit their most debauched acts – sex with multiple partners, drug abuse, hitting somebody with a stop sign, Derby Days – Drew was always on the up and up. For instance, read the following sentence. All you ****-******** ******* ******* can go **** yourself until your ******* ***** fall off. Now, on my computer screen that works like a profane siren's song. On your screen it's probably more dashed out than morse code. I'm telling you, the man has moral ******* fiber. My name is Steven Godfrey, I'm a 26 year-old resident of Nashville, Tennessee and I'm the Publicity Director for the world's second largest professional wrestling company, as well as a former local celebrity in Oxford, Mississippi and a self-obsessed writer. And I am friends with Drew ******* Snyder.]]> tag:www.snydernews.net,2007://1.374 2007-05-24T04:58:31Z 2007-05-24T06:44:47Z

By THE SCOUTMASTER SNN Senior Correspondant CIMARRON, N.M. -- Sup, bitchez. Shet yo mouf, foo’! Don’t be yellin’ an’ screamin’ like no damn crazy suckah. An’ sit yo dumb ayuss day-own. You gon’ get dem cops afta’ both us actin’...

Snyder News Network THE SCOUTMASTER SNN Senior Correspondant CIMARRON, N.M. -- Sup, bitchez. Shet yo mouf, foo’! Don’t be yellin’ an’ screamin’ like no damn crazy suckah. An’ sit yo dumb ayuss day-own. You gon’ get dem cops afta’ both us actin’ like dat, an’ my bad ayuss already got two strikesez. Take a deep breff. Cawlm da hayull down. Now den. You wonderin’ whetha it’s really my true bad ayuss o’ not? Hayull yeah iss me. Da Scoutmastah. Da king o’ dis hill. Da baddest muffer ta ever roll up in dis hood. Don’t NOBODY drop bows and snatch hos like da Scoutmastah do, and ALL y’all suckahs know it. Drew Snydah know it worse dan all y’all. Dis wepsite weren’t nuffin befo’ Da Scoutmastah were started kickin’ it heeya. Afta’ dat, all da hos in Oxfah were trowin’ day undawerr at day computa screenz fi’ o siss timez a week, screamin’, “Scoutmastah, Scoutmastah! My boyfrint don’t do nuffin ta sastistfy me! I neet yo bad ayuss ta make me feelz like a woman! Come earns dis merit badge, Scoutmastah!” In the meanswhile, all y’all jealous punk brothas started rollin’ up, tryin’ ta watch da Scoutmastah an’ learn da secrits o’ his bad-ayuss-ness. Well, Da Scoutmastah hopes all y’all done learnt everthang y’all wanted, ‘cause dis da last time y’all ever gonna be graced by my manly presence. Dats right. All y’all know Snydah Newz Networkin’ is closing up. And dats fine wit’ my bad ayuss. Scoutmastah love bein’ da envy o’ all y’allz eyez, but all dem SNN Valentinez be rollin’ up to da Scoutmastah’s pup tent ever weekent in droves, and dey be bringin’ all dey gurlfreents who be sayin’ “Scoutmastah come camp out on my heeyullsite!” Sheeyit, gurl. Scoutmastah don’t got time ta validates yo’ eggistints. But I’s digrezz. Scoutmastah wants ta trow out some words o’ advise ta some o’ his homies an’ hos. All y’all Clintin suckahs, keep da fafe. Y’all da lass hope fo’ da blawg-lovin’ Scoutmastah. My bad ayuss cain’t be seen at dat sorry WillBartwayull.com. Stevie Godfoo, you sorry suckah, da Scoutmastah been payin’ taxes to da IRS on yo receeting-hairlinin’ ayuss fo’ da lass six years ‘cause he STEEYULL owns you. Don’t you evah fo’git it neither. Crackuh. Squirrel, you my dawg. You been da Scoutmastah’s biggest fan fo’ years. And in case you ain’t noticed, da Scoutmastah don’t need no muffin’ fans! Quit humpin my rightchus leg, suckah! Scoutmastah ain’t got time ta teach you da ways o’ da worlt! Quit callin’ my house, foo’! Alice Blagg, I don’ even know if you be readin’ dis sorry wepsite no mo’, but if you is, den you needz ta quit bein’ such a dayumn hippy. Cut yo’ hair, shavie yo’ face, trow away all yo’ cargo pantses an’ start bein’ a true bad ayuss like me, da Scoutmastah. It ain’t 1996 no mo’, and you ain’t in no damn Countin’ Crows. Suckah. Last o’ all, ta Drew Snydah. You welcome, foo’. Da Scoutmastah been carryin’ yo fa’ all dis time. Peeps be rollin’ up in yo wepsite fo’ six yearz ta fint out whetha da Kampout King woult eva make hiz triumphernant return. Well, here it be. And dis da lass favuh I eva doin’ fo’ you. Da Scoutmastah be tired o’ carryin’ yo ded weight all dis time. Dat goes fo’ da ress o’ all y’all. Da Scoutmastah returnin’ now to da mean streets o’ Philmont. Campin’ out, livin’ stout, walkin’ wiff clout. Dat’s da way o’ da Scoutmastah. Don’t nunn o’ y’all suckahs eva’ fo’git it. Sorry foo’z. Be prepared, suckahs.]]> tag:www.snydernews.net,2007://1.373 2007-05-24T00:37:26Z 2007-05-24T00:40:46Z

Tonight, we take a look back at just a few of the personalities that for a few brief moments, made SNN memorable. ADRIAN KARSTEN A former ESPN commentator who committed suicide. SNN wrote a short blurb recounting the news, and...

Snyder News Network ADRIAN KARSTEN A former ESPN commentator who committed suicide. SNN wrote a short blurb recounting the news, and somehow Google put it on the top of its search. Thousands of people curious about his death flocked to the site and left comments about him in what had to be one of the more bizarre moments in SNN history. ALEX BLAGG / ONE ANGRY DWARF The author of “How to Be a Cool and Tough Fraternity Guy”, arguably the most popular story in SNN history, this former Ole Miss student fueled the fires of controversy on The Network. Under the handle One Angry Dwarf, he skewered the excesses and foibles of many Ole Miss students. Later, under his real name, he turned his criticism to the Bush Administration. All the while, Blagg was building a name for himself as a writer and comedian. Success from his comedy routines and his own blog landed him a gig at VH1. To this day, Blagg is the only person I know who has parlayed his talent for writing on blogs into a handsomely-paid, full-time position. BRANDONBULLDOGS.NET A message board frequented by alumni of Brandon High School in Brandon, Mississippi. Members of BrandonBulldogs.net orchestrated one of the most spectacular voting campaigns in SNN history on behalf of SNN Valentine nominee Bailey Hopper. BRITTANY BICKFORD An occasional poster during 2006 who had her own blog, Bickford’s Randoms. Claimed to be a 28-year old teacher, but was caught plagiarizing her entire blog from the websites of other writers. It would later be discovered that Bickford was not in her late 20s, but was a freshman at Southern Cal at the time of the postings. It remains unclear whether Bickford was trying to be older than she was or someone else had stolen her identity. CAMERON PHELAN A hilarious and frequent contributor to the comments section of SNN during 2003 and 2004, Cameron was one of the more reliably funny voices on SNN. Sadly, Cameron would pass away in 2006. His obituary can be found here. THE CLINTON ADMINISTRATION One of the stronger Mississippi-based weblogs remaining, this sports, politics, and humor site from Clinton natives and a few of their friends features the Remington Steele-loving Tangy as well as the usually hilarious Thew. DIANE SNN’s lovely first Valentine who paved the way for Clinton dominance in the competition’s three-year run. GARY FORCE The fictional name used by a group of Ole Miss students to post completely absurd things about characters connected to Jackson Academy, a private school that many of the Force-Fans attended. While the identities of Gary Force’s creators remain sketchy at best, one is a graphic designer, and several are aspiring writers. GANNON Former RebelGrove.com owner who was often needled by Will Bardwell, who had obtained several free RebelGrove.com passwords and used them without paying Grant the monthly membership fee. GODFREY A one-time icon at Ole Miss, Godfrey was The Daily Mississippian’s most beloved (and berated) columnist during his (somewhere between 5 and 9 year) run at the paper. Godfrey mentioned SNN in a couple of his columns, and even took aim at the posters on Monty’s Message Board often used him as the object of their ire. Godfrey would later write a blog under The Network hosting. He occasionally comments over at Nafoom.com. GRANVILLE This running-obsessed Ole Miss student was the focus of SNN’s debut story after he was struck by a Ford Expedition driven by Ole Miss starting quarterback Romaro Miller during an afternoon jog. Quite fittingly, this running man has moved to the city with the fastest pace in America, New York. There, Granville is an-up-coming financial advisor of some sort. He attributes none of his success to SNN. GUNNZILLA This former collegiate basketball star made headlines on SNN when contributing writer Will Bardwell caught him marking his territory on a makeshift island at a fraternity party. The story was leaked to his scripture-quoting head coach, who then made him run laps for his sins. Today, Gunnzilla is still taller than 99% of Americans, has dabbled in journalism himself, and probably still resents The Network. JOHNNY OLE MISS A mainstay during 2000 and 2001 on Monty’s Message Board, Johnny Ole Miss always had a few interesting things to say. Sadly, a few years later, Johnny Ole Miss, whose real name was Josh Ousley, would pass away after a lengthy illness. MR. RUTLEDGE The champion of the conservatism was Alex Blagg’s ultimate foil during the 2003-2004 years. His commenting dropped drastically in recent years, resulting in the emergence of Shane as SNN’s most reliable right-leaning reader and commenter. Recently produced a short film about law school that is a loose takeoff of Bartleby the Scrivener. POS SNN’s first columnist, the youngest curmudgeon in America was a star attraction for SNN with his discussions of fraternity food, Jackson nightclubs, and other things and people he did not like. The namesake of the first message board on SNN, POS left as quickly as he entered, citing unwelcome readership (I think his parents discovered the site). Today, POS lives in Mississippi, where he remains an avid Ole Miss Sports fan and an ardent critic of gelled hair and white trash. THE SCOUTMASTER A jive-talking commentator on Monty’s Message Board who appeared in 2001, the Scoutmaster assailed Godfrey (who he called ‘Godfoo’) and other members of the Ole Miss community. The identity of The Scoutmaster remains a mystery to readers. SHANE Right-wing restaurateur and foil to fellow Brandon native Will Bardwell. He commented regularly on SNN during the site’s final years. SIGMA NU vs. PHI DELT Immature, inane, yet kind of hilarious message board flame war between members of two fraternities at Ole Miss after rush in 2001. One of the primary reasons SNN banned anonymous comments in its reopening several years later. SQUIRREL Arguably SNN’s most loyal reader. His passion for The Network comes behind only his love for God, Brandon, The Jim Rome Show, and Johnny Beck. THIGPEN SNN’s substitute writer and a long-time supporter of The Network, Thigpen wrote hilarious pieces about Grant Gannon’s Rebel Grove account, the Ole Miss Tenders, and the Order of the Kotite, a Hall of Fame for bad NFL head coaches. WILL BARDWELL A former contributing writer to SNN who now operates his own blog, WillBardwell.com. Bardwell is best known for tormenting Grant Gannon over free RebelGrove accounts, arguing with Shane or Mr. Rutledge over politics, and providing typically hilarious comments about a variety of subjects. ]]> tag:www.snydernews.net,2007://1.372 2007-05-23T20:21:29Z 2007-05-23T20:24:53Z

In response to the question of whether dog-fighting is prevalent in the NFL and the NBA, Washington Redskins running back Clinton Portis said, "I mean it's prevalent in life. . . . I'm from Laurel, Mississippi. I know a lot...

Snyder News Network In response to the question of whether dog-fighting is prevalent in the NFL and the NBA, Washington Redskins running back Clinton Portis said, "I mean it's prevalent in life. . . . I'm from Laurel, Mississippi. I know a lot of back roads that got the dog fight if you want to go see it." I've spent only a limited amount of time in Jones County, the home of Congressman Chip Pickering, the Evans Girls, and a few other celebrities. Is there really a lot of dog fighting down that way? tag:www.snydernews.net,2007://1.371 2007-05-23T17:22:03Z 2007-05-23T17:26:45Z

WASHINGTON – Responding to the growing trend to incentivize environment-friendly and resource-sustaining behavior, the House of Representatives on Monday passed a significant piece of legislation that would provide a tax-deduction for anyone who purchases VHS cassettes or DVDs of the...

Snyder News Network WASHINGTON – Responding to the growing trend to incentivize environment-friendly and resource-sustaining behavior, the House of Representatives on Monday passed a significant piece of legislation that would provide a tax-deduction for anyone who purchases VHS cassettes or DVDs of the early 1990s cartoon Captain Planet. In a cryptic statement, media mogul and environmental activist Ted Turner, the creator of the 30-minute show, thanked Congressional leaders for their “earth”, “fire”, “wind,” “water,” and “heart.” “By your powers combined, we will all be Captain Planet,” Turner said. In honor of the decision, Turner has commissioned the original cartoonists of the show to create a 15-minute clip in which Captain Planet anoints Nancy Pelosi as an honorary Planeteer. The legislation received backing from a number of prominent former politicians and celebrities. Former Vice-President Al Gore visited Congress last month to lobby for the bills, which he says will encourage parents to “have a television show teach their children the importance of environmental conservation and the treachery of the Eco-Villains. Gore, a father of four, said that Captain Planet was among the approved forms of entertainment his wife Tipper would allow their youngest child Al Gore III watch while he was in elementary school. Captain Planet ran from 1990-1996 on the Turner Broadcasting System and featured five environmentally-responsible teens who came together to form a superhero who dealt with ecological disasters. Asked how the bill would work from a logistical standpoint and what would be done to offset the increased deficit resulting from the tax deductions, leaders from both parties looked genuinely confused. Speaking from the White House, President Bush vowed to veto the legislation and assailed Democratic house leaders of “playing politics with our cartoons.” However, according to White House officials, President Bush may be more receptive to a Senate-sponsored proposal from Senator John McCain (R-Ariz.) and Senator Jim Webb (D-Va.) that would provide tax breaks to purchasers of either Captain Planet or G.I. Joe, another animated TV series that ran in syndication from 1985-1986. “The President appreciates the important message of G.I. Joe: rooting out Cobra wherever they can be found, but at the end of the day, visiting some kid to teach him a 60-second message about the importance of fire safety,” White House spokesman Tony Snow told reporters. ]]> tag:www.snydernews.net,2007://1.368 2007-05-22T21:52:01Z 2007-05-23T03:31:30Z

In its Life section on Monday, national newspaper USA Today released the tentative lineup for the TV networks’ fall 2007 lineup. Included in the new television lineup are Journeyman, a rip-off of the Scott Bakula vehicle Quantum Leap; Moonlight, a...

Snyder News Network CSI: New Orleans (CBS): The popular multifaceted procedural crime drama is coming to the gritty streets of New Orleans. CSI: New Orleans features a new gang of forensic scientists, except in this CSI unit, the perpetrator is rarely apprehended. Evidence is tainted, leads are ignored, and morale is at an all-time low. Prison Idol (FOX): An ingenious combination of previous FOX standard bearers Prison Break and American Idol, PRISON IDOL features hardened criminals who strut their musical prowess in front of a panel of judges and America, with the winner receiving a recording contract from Def Jam records and most importantly, his or her freedom. The panel of music critics will include Bobby Brown, George Michael, Lil' Kim. Kimmi (ABC): A Full House spin-off about the Tanners’ obnoxious neighbor, Kimmi Gibler. Soundscapes (NBC): Thirty minutes of the popular Music Choice 33 channel in primetime. Survivor: Black Beach Prison (CBS): The reality show that started it all continues in this latest installment of the popular CBS Drama. Set in the beguiling and treacherous far reaches of an oil-rich yet notoriously corrupt African nation, twenty contestants are placed in Equatorial Guinea’s Black Beach Prison to outwit, outlast, and outplay one another – as well as the prison population of one of the world’s most frightening jails. Whale (CBS): The View’s Rosie O’ Donnell comes to series television in WHALE, a legal drama from the makers of Shark. O’ Donnell plays an opinionated, supremely hungry prosecutor who brings her enormous appetite for justice and trans fat to the San Francisco DA’s high-profile crime unit after years spent as a talking-head on a cable news legal talk show. Leading a team of new young lawyers, this whale now devours criminals and 6000 calories a day. Saved by the Bell: The Middle Class (NBC): Nearly fifteen years after graduating from Bayside High School, the cast of characters from of this iconic Saturday morning sitcom is returning to television. But the laugh tracks that permeated the gangs’ halcyon high school years have been replaced by hardship in this darkly comedic story that’s been described as Saved by the Bell with elements of Desperate Housewives and Friends. The plotline will be published later. Who Wants to Be an American Citizen (ABC): ABC follows Benito Gomez, an illegal immigrant who has crossed over the Rio Grande into Texas and eventually to the Texas City of Fort Worth, where he works as a cook at a Tex-Mex restaurant and as a landscaper who works below the minimum wage for several wealthy Republican donors. Who Wants to Be an American Citizen chronicles Benito’s life in America, as he struggles to ward off the INS, right-wing talk show hosts, and friends from Mexico who keep asking him to send money, and as he is exploited by Democrat politicians who would like his vote and the business people who capitalize from his cheap and reliable labor. Tunica (NBC): A spin-off of the hit TV show Las Vegas, spotlighting the bright lights and big city of the south’s casino hub. ]]> tag:www.snydernews.net,2007://1.367 2007-05-22T04:17:31Z 2007-05-22T20:51:35Z

The Snyder News Network leaves my bookmark list this week as surprisingly as it entered. I was a freshman at Ole Miss eight years ago when Drew – of whom I knew only as the guy who ran for ASB...

Snyder News Network The Snyder News Network leaves my bookmark list this week as surprisingly as it entered. I was a freshman at Ole Miss eight years ago when Drew – of whom I knew only as the guy who ran for ASB Senate with campaign flyers parodying Absolut vodka ads – first told me about his Web site. The first sight of it shocked me. Keep in mind what your typical personal Web page looked like back in 1999 – usually a lifeless white background with occasional 256-color images and text written solely in varying sizes of Times New Roman. SNN was anything but typical. It looked like a special project from ESPN.com or something. The design, customization, and even the ripped-off CNN logo were impeccable. “I think Snyder has a lot of time on his hands,” a classmate of mine later observed. But it was the content that kept me coming back. It was hilarious. I must have called three or four people to tell them about SNN on the day it reported Granville Engle’s near-death experience with Romaro Miller’s SUV. By combining light-hearted satire littered with 1990s pop culture references centered toward his late-teens/early 20s Ole Miss audience, Snyder created a sensation unmatched by few other phenomena at that time in that place. When I worked on his student body presidential campaign in 2002, I looked up his site statistics and learned that SNN had tallied some 2 million visitors. Most corporate Web sites would kill for such turnout. But for all of Snyder’s active efforts toward keeping SNN fresh, his greatest achievement was a passive act – the creation of Monty’s Message Board. But unlike other message boards of the day, discussion on SNN’s message board was greatly influenced by other content on the site. The whole setup was very blog-ish, but years before blogs hit the mainstream. Of course, in his never failing innovative fashion, by the time blogging went mainstream in 2004, Snyder had been writing one for months. His efforts directly led to the creations of several other blogs, including mine, which I’ve written for nearly three years and which contains some 2,200 posts. Assuming I’ve spent five minutes on each post, this means I can directly blame Drew for the loss of nearly a week and a half of my life. Thanks a lot, Snyder. SNN has had its highs and its lows, but its existence has eased countless study sessions and workdays. Just knowing that each hour held the promise of a new post, or at least an asinine comment or two, made getting down to business a little easier. SNN’s departure leaves me and several dozen other loyal readers without that welcome distraction. Most of us have left Oxford by now, if we ever went through Oxford to begin with, but SNN continued to provide glimpses back at the foolishness and camaraderie of college. Maybe that makes SNN’s departure just another part of growing up. Either way, it’ll be a sad day the first time I absent-mindedly click my “Snyder News Network” bookmark and come upon an Albanian Viagra salesman’s illegal outfit instead of this blog. SNN’s exit won’t go down in history, but it will mark a day when all of us began showing up to work under the sad realization that a favorite distraction has permanently returned to the toy box. If that’s adulthood, then give me SNN any day. tag:www.snydernews.net,2007://1.366 2007-05-21T05:52:02Z 2007-05-21T06:06:29Z

BY ALEX BLAGG It's funny, looking at my picture on Drew's banner image, right up there next to the Ultimate Warrior, Mario Lopez, some football players and Carl Winslow. While I'm honored to be held in the same esteemed regard...

Snyder News Network BY ALEX BLAGG It's funny, looking at my picture on Drew's banner image, right up there next to the Ultimate Warrior, Mario Lopez, some football players and Carl Winslow. While I'm honored to be held in the same esteemed regard as such amazing human specimens, I guess I can't help but laugh at the notion that Drew Snyder has actually created a website in which all those people - and myself - share some sort or definitive connection. But maybe the world - or a few hundred Ole Miss students - needed that, an online outpost where one can read the latest tedium of Mississippi politics sandwiched right between a nostalgic professional wrestling retrospective and one of my hyperbolic rants against Frat Culture or President Bush or whatever. And no matter how silly this might seem, I would say that whatever modest amount of success I've managed to achieve in my life as a comedic writer, somehow it started here, on Snydernews, back when it was just a message board full of morons (myself included) spouting off their ill-informed opinions about pretty much whatever. It was the first time I felt the sickeningly seductive drug known as Instant Feedback. That incredibly addictive experience of publishing my opinions, and instantaneously seeing what kind of reaction they would cause. I truly believe that singular phenomenon has played more part than anything in shaping the kind of writer I've become today. And here some 8 or 9 years later, getting paid more than I ever thought I would to do a job that didn't even exist when I was in college, I am still a full-blown feedback junkie. I used to post on Snydernews under a pseudonym I created (actually, stole from Ben Folds) called One Angry Dwarf. It seemed like the appropriate image for the written persona I was trying to cultivate: smart-assy, satirical, provocative, opinions from someone who was somehow an outsider. And while I have long since become comfortable enough to write the same kinds of things under my own name, in a certain way, I am still One Angry Dwarf. Replace the drunken misadventures of frat dudes in the Grove with the drunken misadventures of Lindsay Lohan in Hollywood, and I'm pretty much doing the same thing here at Best Week Ever. In fact, if it weren't for this website, I probably wouldn't be sitting in an office in Times Square right now, agonizing over the best way to present to the world a clip of David Hasselhoff lying on the floor, drunk, shirtless, eating a cheeseburger, and mumbling incoherently to his daughter. So thanks, Snydernews! I think. Alex Blagg is an editor of VH1's Best Week Ever Blog and appears regularly on Best Week Ever's TV program and FOX News's Red Eye. We'll have more about Alex Blagg in a forthcoming story, "SNN Legends." COMING TUESDAY: Reflections from WILL BARDWELL]]>