WASHINGTON – Responding to the growing trend to incentivize environment-friendly and resource-sustaining behavior, the House of Representatives on Monday passed a significant piece of legislation that would provide a tax-deduction for anyone who purchases VHS cassettes or DVDs of the early 1990s cartoon Captain Planet.
In a cryptic statement, media mogul and environmental activist Ted Turner, the creator of the 30-minute show, thanked Congressional leaders for their “earth”, “fire”, “wind,” “water,” and “heart.”
“By your powers combined, we will all be Captain Planet,” Turner said. In honor of the decision, Turner has commissioned the original cartoonists of the show to create a 15-minute clip in which Captain Planet anoints Nancy Pelosi as an honorary Planeteer.
The legislation received backing from a number of prominent former politicians and celebrities.
Former Vice-President Al Gore visited Congress last month to lobby for the bills, which he says will encourage parents to “have a television show teach their children the importance of environmental conservation and the treachery of the Eco-Villains. Gore, a father of four, said that Captain Planet was among the approved forms of entertainment his wife Tipper would allow their youngest child Al Gore III watch while he was in elementary school.
Captain Planet ran from 1990-1996 on the Turner Broadcasting System and featured five environmentally-responsible teens who came together to form a superhero who dealt with ecological disasters.
Asked how the bill would work from a logistical standpoint and what would be done to offset the increased deficit resulting from the tax deductions, leaders from both parties looked genuinely confused.
Speaking from the White House, President Bush vowed to veto the legislation and assailed Democratic house leaders of “playing politics with our cartoons.”
However, according to White House officials, President Bush may be more receptive to a Senate-sponsored proposal from Senator John McCain (R-Ariz.) and Senator Jim Webb (D-Va.) that would provide tax breaks to purchasers of either Captain Planet or G.I. Joe, another animated TV series that ran in syndication from 1985-1986.
“The President appreciates the important message of G.I. Joe: rooting out Cobra wherever they can be found, but at the end of the day, visiting some kid to teach him a 60-second message about the importance of fire safety,” White House spokesman Tony Snow told reporters.