SNN -- News, satire, and commentary since 1999.

Home | Previous Tubby Smith's Preemptive Breakup with Kentucky |

Next: Catching Up on The Email.

Eli Manning to Sign Lifetime Contract with Abby McGrew
NEW YORK CITY --- Ending months of speculation, New York Giants Quarterback Eli Manning has agreed in principle to a deal with long-time girlfriend Abby McGrew that would put the couple together for the rest of their natural lives.

Manning, 26, proposed to his girlfriend of four years last Tuesday.

Under terms of the marriage agreement, Manning and McGrew (pictured above with Ole Miss icons Bobby Croswell and Jennifer Germany Croswell, as well as Vice Chancellor Gloria Kellum) will be united until death do us part and will be expected "to love and to cherish, for better or for worse," though there might be an out clause in deal if Eli got traded to the Detroit Lions.

The deal will probably be finalized in early 2008. I trust Jackson's VIP Magazine is already working on a spread for this momentous social occasion.

Ole Miss supporters are sending well-wishes to the couple and encouraging them to reproduce quickly in hopes that a younger Manning can help Ole Miss replenish their moribund passing game by 2026.

"May your first child be a masculine child," Luca Brasi said.

SNN knows little about McGrew, the woman who will be responsible for 50% of the genetic material in Ole Miss's next All-American quarterback hopeful, but Kappa Delta sorority sisters say McGrew isn't much of a sports fan, which is one thing she and Eli have in common.

McGrew has begun to show a growing interest in the game.

From Giants.com

McGrew grew up in Nashville and now lives in Manhattan, where she is an account executive for Pamela Roland, a designer of evening wear and wedding dresses.

Just as importantly for Manning, McGrew is developing into a football fan.

"She's learning," he said. "She's been dealing with it for a while. I don't know if she would watch it if I wasn't playing. She understands it."

We don't have anymore details on the wedding, though it is safe to say that Tennessee Titans cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones will not be organizing the bachelor party.

The previous post in this blog was Tubby Smith's Preemptive Breakup with Kentucky.

The next post in this blog is Catching Up on The Email.

Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.